Jet Li says he had to stop acting like the ‘general’ to become a better dad

Jet Li said he had to study to beryllium a amended listener to beryllium a better father.

Speaking connected the "Daily Stoic" podcast hosted by Ryan Holiday, the martial artist and character said his daughter's intelligence wellness struggles prompted him to rethink his attack to parenting.

Li said he had nary begetter fig to exemplary himself after, since his ain begetter died erstwhile he was 2.

Having grown up successful a accepted household, Li said he believed a parent's domiciled was chiefly to supply for a child's applicable needs.

"You activity hard, make a batch of money, past springiness them a bully education," he said. "That's bully enough."

But complete time, Li said he came to recognize that while money could lick immoderate problems, it could not lick them all.

He said that it became clear erstwhile 1 of his daughters, Jada, began struggling pinch her mental health, and he didn't cognize "how to help." Li has 4 daughters: 2 from his first matrimony and 2 from his second.

He said that contempt spending years studying Buddhism and intelligence training, he did not cognize really to scope his girl erstwhile she withdrew.

That was erstwhile Li said he realized he "needed to learn" really to show up for her differently.

"So I turned down a batch of work, and past done this journey, I effort to do everything I tin pinch my daughter. Become a listener, go their friend," he said.

Li said parents often default to telling their children what they should aliases shouldn't do: "You're the general. They're the soldiers." However, he yet realized that move was not working.

So, spot by bit, Li said he began to alteration really he interacted pinch his daughter.

"Become their buddy, go their roommate, go their friend. Then talk to them," he said.

Li said he had to learn to listen without instantly offering advice: "Sometimes I request to study to hear. Don't springiness an opinion. Just hear."

In a December 2023 question and reply connected a Taiwanese talk show, Li said he asked his girl to constituent retired his shortcomings truthful they could genuinely go friends. He said she told him he was self-centered and arrogant. Although her bluntness initially upset him, he was yet grateful for her honesty.

Li isn't the only personage who has spoken astir rethinking the measurement they parent.

In March 2025, Kate Hudson said being accountable for her mistakes has been a cardinal portion of her parenting journey.

"Sometimes successful conflict, you spell excessively far, and you request to say you're sorry, alternatively of school them that you doubled down," Hudson said.

In August, Matthew McConaughey said he had adjusted really he talks to his children arsenic they've grown older to make them much apt to unfastened up.

"I've had to beryllium almost little of a dada successful ways — beryllium little judgmental erstwhile they're saying something," McConaughey said.