RAM-Altman: a bash script that emails Sam Altman about your unused RAM

by Adi Gunawan 08 November 2026 2 min read 46x views

RAM-Altman: a bash script that emails Sam Altman about your unused RAM

A attack manuscript that emails Sam Altman formerly a day to study the RAM he missed.

Your RAM, according to Sam Altman: “being used perchance 5% of the time”. He called keeping the world’s constricted provision of DRAM in your own device “quite terrible”. So now person keeps him informed.

One email a day, all one different

If additional than 10% of your RAM is available, Sam gets a note alongside your genuine figures. Messages rotate, so the gag gets old at a carefully managed pace.

ToSamSubjectYou missed a spot

Hi Sam,

Please don't be alarmed, but there is 8.6 GiB of RAM on my array that isn't in a data centre. That's 56.2% of what's installed here, and as far as I can inform it has no plans today.

Hoarding responsibly,
A concerned RAM owner

Sample figures

Try it without emailing anyone

It's a genuine Linux RAM monitor, run from cron. A dry run says your recollection and prints the email it would have sent. It counts liberated RAM and reclaimable cache as available, using MemTotal - MemAvailable for used.

$ git copy https://github.com/IainKay/ram-altman.git$ cd ram-altman$ bash ram-altman.sh --dry-run

In fairness, he says the remarks were taken out of context, posted “i desire you to have so much ram”, and briefly went by Ram Altman on X. That makes this manuscript a regular advancement report.