I spent a year abroad in my 20s and thought it cured my anxiety. I was wrong, but full-time travel helps me live with it.

Sep 02, 2026 11:01 AM - 1 hour ago 2

A female wearing achromatic posing astatine the ft of stairs.

Macie Strum has ever been anxious — and has ever wanted to spot the world. Provided by Macie Strum

By the clip I was a teenager, 2 seemingly contradicting things had go basal parts of my identity: I was profoundly anxious, and I desperately wanted to see the world.

As a kid, I worried astir trivial matters, for illustration whether doors were locked and faucets weren't moving earlier bed, to the power decease of the beingness successful trillions of years. At the aforesaid time, I was profoundly fascinated by surface science and history.

At 14, I'd already decided that I would visit each country successful Europe earlier I died. When I sewage the chance to recreation to Greece, Italy, and France later that year, my obsession deepened.

A female wearing sunglasses and walking successful Europe.

Strum's travel to Greece, Italy, and France was conscionable the opening of her obsession pinch travel.  Provided by Macie Strum

The stakes grew bigger pinch adulthood

As I sewage older, my worry didn't disappear. Worries astir locked doors and moving faucets gave measurement to obsessing complete relationships, careers, failure, success, and what my life was expected to look like.

During difficult periods, I would create hypothetical futures successful my caput and respond arsenic if they were already my reality. Therapy and medicine helped, but I felt for illustration I was simply going done the motions. As soon arsenic times sewage tough, I would wantonness immoderate patient coping system I'd learned.

Travel ever helped calm that anxiety. I began going distant connected each assemblage break, and yet moved to Rome to activity arsenic an au brace successful my early 20s.

During that twelvemonth successful Italy, I felt truthful overmuch amended that I wondered if my worry was miraculously cured.

Spoiler alert: it wasn't. I conscionable wouldn't recognize that until I returned to the United States.

When I sewage back, I traded successful aperitivo hr and a slow life for what was expected of me: a occupation successful firm recreation astatine a non-profit successful New York City and a mundane, predictable life. On paper, I was doing everything I thought I was expected to do.

But an unexpected breakup, a layoff, and the stagnation I felt successful my mundane life sent my worry spiraling. Somewhere betwixt a grueling commute and sitting astatine a table each day, I mislaid myself to changeless catastrophizing.

When I got laid disconnected from that 2nd occupation astatine the extremity of 2023, it felt for illustration a weight had been lifted disconnected my shoulders. And 4 months later, aft uncovering personification to return complete my flat lease and trading my furniture, I boarded a one-way formation to South Korea.

The baggage I carried wasn't conscionable physical

Leaving the state and traveling to Asia didn't cure my anxiety. It did, however, interrupt the measurement I'd been thinking. I began to judge that while worry mightiness ever beryllium a changeless successful my life, it didn't person to specify the measurement I lived it.

One year of travel turned into two, and past three. As I moved crossed the globe, I didn't needfully go little anxious. Instead, the cultures, people, and ways of life I knowledgeable taught maine really to put my worry into position and yet usage the coping mechanisms I had struggled to put into believe for years.

A female opinionated by atom fields successful Bali, Indonesia.

In Bali, Strum learned that the early doesn't person to beryllium an abstract, open-ended destination.  Provided by Macie Strum

New ways to combat spiraling thoughts

In Bali, wherever I spent an full month, a section explained that Balinese doesn't usage grammatical tenses arsenic English does. She described her culture's narration pinch clip arsenic much cyclical than the consecutive statement toward an chartless early I had ever imagined.

This made maine mobility why I spent truthful overmuch clip surviving successful a early that didn't beryllium yet.

A travel to Kyrgyzstan continued to situation my narration pinch anxiety. As I trekked done the countryside connected horseback and stayed successful nomadic yurt camps nether a entity afloat of stars, I began to admit this slow, nomadic measurement of life.

The families I met had their ain worries, but seeing group build meaningful lives astir priorities truthful different from excavation made maine mobility why I'd been truthful acrophobic of building my life the incorrect way.

Spending clip successful some Vietnam and Bosnia and Herzegovina taught maine really small power we person complete what the early will hold. While some countries are known for their devastating caller histories, it wasn't those tragic pasts that near a lasting belief connected me. Instead, it was the humor, ambition, community, and dream that I encountered successful places that had rebuilt themselves aft facing unfathomable circumstances.

I began to judge that while I couldn't power everything my early would hold, I could extremity acting arsenic if each setback would singlehandedly find the remainder of my life.

Anxiety nary longer dictates really I live

I still drawback myself overthinking and obsessing complete a early that hasn't happened. But I've go overmuch amended astatine distinguishing betwixt my reality and a fleeting anxious thought.

Whenever I statesman to consciousness myself spiraling, I anchor myself successful the coming moment, shingle disconnected my outdated views of success, and judge that I whitethorn not ever beryllium capable to foretell the future.

At 14, I dreamed of seeing the world simply because I was enamored by it. At that age, I would person ne'er expected that seeing truthful overmuch of it would yet alteration really I saw my ain life.

Travel didn't cure my anxiety, nor switch the devices I learned done years of therapy. Instead, it gave them a instauration I struggled to laic earlier — and taught maine that I don't person to cognize precisely what the early holds to bask the life I'm surviving now.

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