I moved from DC to Los Angeles to save a relationship. We broke up, but 10 years later, I'm still living here.

Aug 31, 2026 08:33 PM - 2 hours ago 3

The writer hiking pinch her achromatic cat.

I knew that moving to Los Angeles would make aliases break my relationship. Rena Goldman

I was contented surviving successful Washington, DC, but my fellow wasn't.

He'd moved location pinch maine successful 2012 erstwhile I secured my first full-time penning job, but DC wasn't really wherever he wanted to be. He was an character pinch dreams of making it successful Los Angeles — and though he was getting immoderate acting work, it wasn't capable to discontinue the day job he didn't love.

Things weren't going arsenic good successful the narration arsenic either of america had hoped. I had built a beardown societal circle successful our vicinity and pinch coworkers, and he seemed to consciousness near out.

Then, 2 years into our clip successful DC, I was impacted by layoffs astatine my company. I sewage by connected freelance activity and impermanent gigs for a while, but pinch a occupation nary longer keeping maine connected the East Coast, I suggested we commencement reasoning astir moving to LA.

I knew I'd miss friends and family, but I was excited for a caller start, and I liked the imaginable of my fellow getting to do what he loved.

After we agreed that a move to California was worthy trying, I applied for and sewage a occupation successful the LA agency of a media institution wherever I was freelancing.

In 2016, we packed up our things, I said immoderate tearful goodbyes, and we drove crossed the country.

Our narration ended a fewer years aft we moved

From the beginning, I knew it was a move that would make aliases break us. Our location was nary longer an obstacle to his acting career.

I would besides person to trust connected him to get around, since our only car was his. Back successful DC, I'd been capable to locomotion much places and trust connected the autobus and metro.

Neither of america knew galore group successful LA, and we decidedly didn't person adjacent friends. We made it done 3 challenging years successful LA pinch difficult roommates, different layoff, the decease of my beloved cat, and attempts to build friendships.

Being successful LA had stretched an already strained narration to its breaking point. In 2019 — aft 10 years together, 3 of them successful LA — we yet admitted it wasn't working.

I had to determine wherever I'd live. My caller job was remote, truthful I powerfully considered moving backmost to the East Coast. There wasn't thing needfully keeping maine here; I didn't moreover person a car.

Instead, I decided to get a spot successful West Hollywood. LA didn't rather consciousness for illustration home, but I wasn't fresh to springiness up connected it.

I built a organization and recovered a passion that encouraged maine to instrumentality around

The writer and a personnel of City Council opinionated broadside by broadside successful beforehand of a achromatic fence.

I started making friends done West Hollywood's City Council.  Rena Goldman

Right away, I loved my West Hollywood flat and the location. Unlike wherever I'd antecedently been surviving successful LA, I could locomotion aliases hop connected a autobus and get conscionable astir anyplace — thing I'd appreciated astir living successful DC.

However, I didn't person section friends aliases a relationship to the area yet. I decided to commencement by learning much astir wherever I lived.

West Hollywood is incorporated arsenic an independent city, which intends it has its ain metropolis council. I began watching assembly meetings unrecorded connected YouTube, and was pleasantly amazed to spot really galore residents were civically progressive and excited to advocator for causes they attraction about.

The writer sitting astatine a achromatic chair and successful beforehand of a microphone during a City Council meeting.

Getting progressive successful my metropolis helped it consciousness for illustration home.  Rena Goldman

I wanted to get involved, truthful I messaged a councilmember, who really agreed to person java pinch me. From there, I learned astir regular meet-and-greets astatine the parkland wherever commissioners, assembly members, and organization members came together.

I started going to metropolis events, and complete time, I saw the aforesaid group again and again. Some of america realized we lived wrong a fewer blocks of each other. I was yet appointed to the city's Rent Stabilization Commission, wherever I now service arsenic Chair.

As I spent much clip participating successful section politics, I learned really organization members tin person a opportunity successful their ain neighborhood. Getting progressive helped maine understand really my metropolis runs, make caller friends, and link group pinch resources erstwhile they're not judge really to woody pinch a section rumor aliases a situation pinch a landlord.

Before long, West Hollywood really started to consciousness for illustration home. Now I person neighborhood friends to locomotion the canine pinch aliases watch unrecorded euphony successful the park.

My life 10 years aft moving to LA is decidedly not what I imagined, but successful galore ways, it's better.

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Rena Goldman is simply a Los Angeles-based freelance journalist pinch complete a decade of experience. She covers health, wellness, intelligence health, mini business, and the effect of authorities and policies connected our regular lives. Her articles person been featured successful nationalist publications and manner brands, including National Geographic and US News & World Report.

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