I lived with my best friend's family in high school after my parents moved out of state

Aug 26, 2026 07:54 PM - 3 weeks ago 5

Two girls pinch backpacks, jeans, t shirts, holding hands and smiling

My champion friend and I (not pictured) lived together during my elder twelvemonth of precocious school. It helped maine go a amended adult. Worawee Meepian/Getty Images

By the clip I was heading into my elder twelvemonth of precocious school, I had been the caller woman for 5 years successful a row.

In the '90s, my parents worked difficult and virtually followed profession opportunities truthful they could supply for us. For me, though, that meant volatile teen years being jostled betwixt aggregate cities successful the Midwest.

My inferior twelvemonth successful St. Louis had gone beautiful well, though. I had already survived puberty pinch forehead-to-chin acne and frizzy hairsbreadth by tapping into my soul extrovert to make caller friends.

I conscionable wanted to settee into my past twelvemonth astatine this high school, wherever I had a group and felt for illustration I belonged. I couldn't carnivore different migration, but it wasn't up to me.

As my first time of the last twelvemonth of precocious school approached, I felt optimistic. I still retrieve being astatine a back-to-school sleepover, singing catchy songs for illustration "Breakfast astatine Tiffany's" into hairbrushes pinch my besties, thrilled I had 1 much twelvemonth pinch them.

But I returned location the adjacent greeting to find my mom virtually packing boxes arsenic she announced we were relocating — again.

In time, my parents reluctantly fto maine unrecorded pinch my champion friend's family

Two teen girls posing together adjacent water

Cristin and I spent a batch of clip together arsenic teens.  Courtesy of Andrea Javor

I dreaded different first play arsenic the caller look everyone stared down and threw a fit, refusing to move again. I concocted a scheme pinch my champion friend, Cristin, who offered to stock her mini chamber pinch me.

She and I did everything together, and I'd already spent countless hours astatine her house. Her parents, who already felt for illustration a prize family to me, agreed arsenic agelong arsenic we continued to make bully grades.

But my parents politely declined, truthful I sewage successful the car and sobbed arsenic Carole King's "Tapestry" medium tortured maine connected the thrust northbound connected I-55 from St. Louis to Chicago.

Photo of a photograph of 2 teens successful jackets posing connected steps

Eventually, my parents fto maine move successful pinch Cristin and her family.  Courtesy of Andrea Javor

I came location from schoolhouse each time successful hysterics, not making it past the laundry room, sobbing successful my plaid uniform. Cristin called maine nightly, and we cried connected the telephone together — I missed her and our minimum-wage jobs astatine Red Lobster successful St Louis.

After 2 weeks of watching my misery, my parents reluctantly fto maine move successful pinch Cristin's family connected the information that I return to Chicago to spot them astatine slightest erstwhile a month. I besides promised to thief retired astir my caller hosts' location truthful I wouldn't look for illustration a burden.

I knew I would miss my parents and 2 younger brothers, but I felt strangely free astatine 17, driving backmost to St. Louis pinch my hairsbreadth blowing successful the upwind and a car afloat of my belongings.

It wasn't ever easy to unrecorded betwixt 2 addresses

Two girls successful achromatic graduation caps and gowns, smiling

I ended up finishing my elder twelvemonth successful St. Louis pinch my champion friend.  Courtesy of Andrea Javor

Picking backmost up connected my studies and friendships was effortless, arsenic though I ne'er left.

School assemblies and free periods felt regular again, and Cristin's family offered a warm, safe location pinch predictable repast times and evenly divided chores among america and her 3 siblings.

The location was live pinch noise, laughter, and spats complete who was successful the bath excessively long. Her parents were overmuch much affectionate than excavation — ever a buss hullo and goodbye — and I was successful awe astatine nighttime arsenic they snuggled, eating crystal pick connected the sofa pinch each of america kids huddled astir connected blankets watching TV.

As overmuch arsenic I loved it, I spent respective weekends driving my two-toned Mazda 929 the 5 hours backmost to spot my family, whom I missed. I felt for illustration I arsenic belonged successful some places, yet was missing retired connected truthful overmuch trying to ping-pong betwixt them.

Through everything, it was a alleviation to cognize I was much adaptable than I thought possible.

Soon, Cristin and I were putting connected our caps and gowns for graduation together, and I felt for illustration I was precisely wherever I should person been.

Photo of 2 women smiling successful a doorway

Cristin and I ended up going to assemblage together, too.  Courtesy of Andrea Javor

As I headed to Chicago to unrecorded pinch my family for the summertime earlier going distant to assemblage (with Crisitn), I had a caller mindset.

I realized I took a batch of things for granted that my parents did for me, and that I whitethorn want to easiness my complaining erstwhile asked to cleanable my room aliases straighten the shoes successful the entryway.

After all, erstwhile personification else's parents asked maine to empty the dishwasher aliases do immoderate of those aforesaid chores, I happily complied, arsenic I was truthful grateful to beryllium surviving pinch them.

That benignant of cognition could spell a agelong measurement pinch my ain family, too.

Looking back, this acquisition helped maine go a well-adjusted big and amended friend

Two women smiling astatine a bar

Cristin and I are still friends decades later.  Courtesy of Andrea Javor

That twelvemonth distant from my family pushed maine to find independency and agency astatine a young age, which helped maine go a well-adjusted adult.

As I sewage older, I vowed to ever person options for myself. I realized that if I wanted to proceed calling the shots successful my ain life, I would request financial stableness — truthful I strictly prioritized building a dependable career.

Perhaps the astir important instruction I learned, though, was the worth of friendship.

My champion friend virtually made room successful her mini closet, shared her full-size furniture pinch maine for a year, and fto maine beryllium portion of her family truthful I could bask immoderate consciousness of stableness during my formative years.

In a puerility different unmoored, her generosity has been a exemplary for really I show up for group successful my big life.

I'm besides happy to stock that, respective decades later, Cristin and I are still friends.

We meet up erstwhile a twelvemonth successful the autumn for a roadworthy travel to a quaint Midwestern city truthful we tin person a agelong play filled pinch shopping, refilling each other's glasses, and staying up agelong past our normal bedtime, chatting and giggling — conscionable for illustration we did successful precocious school.

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Andrea Javor is simply a Chicago-based trading executive and writer moving connected a memoir. Connect pinch her connected Instagram @AndreaEJavor aliases andreajavor.com.

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