I'm an American mom raising 2 kids in Italy. Parenting here is completely different.

Sep 17, 2026 05:10 AM - 4 hours ago 4

The writer poses pinch her children astatine a edifice successful Italy.

The writer said that raising her children successful Italy is overmuch different than her ain upbringing successful New York City. Courtesy of Caroline Chirichella.

I was calved and raised successful New York City and moved to Italy erstwhile I was 24 years old. For a small complete 12 years, Italy has been my home, and I've built a life here.

I person 2 children, an 8-year-old girl and a 3-year-old son. Both of them person spent their full lives successful Italy. I've ne'er knowledgeable raising children successful America, but I was raised location and person a bully knowing of American parenting. And fto maine show you, parenting present is simply a wholly different story, pinch immoderate of it being very surprising.

Of course, the nutrient is different

I still retrieve my days successful public school successful New York City. My mom packed maine patient homemade lunches because you couldn't person paid maine to eat what the schoolhouse cafeteria was serving.

If I told you what my girl eats astatine schoolhouse successful Italy, you would deliberation she was eating astatine a gourmet trattoria. Each day, the children are served a first course, usually pasta pinch vegetables aliases beans, and a 2nd people specified arsenic meatballs, chickenhearted cutlets, aliases poached fish, and a broadside crockery of carrots, greenish beans, aliases salad. This multi-course repast occasionally includes a dessert, for illustration chocolate cake.

The value is besides impressive. The nutrient astatine my daughter's schoolhouse is prepared by section cooks, galore of whom are mothers and relatives of children astatine the school, and a section edifice oversees the process.

Schedules are system differently

In America, it often feels for illustration my friends' kids' calendars are packed from greeting until nighttime pinch sports practices, euphony lessons, tutoring sessions, and various extracurricular activities. That's conscionable not the lawsuit successful Italy.

While Italian children participate successful after-school activities, location isn't the aforesaid unit to support them perpetually occupied. The accent is connected what the kid genuinely wants to do alternatively than connected building the cleanable résumé aliases filling each disposable hour. If children want to play sports aliases study an instrument, they do. If not, that's fine, too.

Kids look to person much freedom

Over the years, I've noticed that children successful Italy look to person much freedom, and their parents are little apt to show their each move. This is 1 area wherever I personally struggle.

A ample portion of that comes from really I was raised. Growing up successful New York City, information was ever a awesome concern. Parents were perpetually alert of imaginable dangers and took precautions to protect their children.

The author's girl poses nether umbrellas lining a thoroughfare successful Italy.

The writer said that she feels galore parents successful Italy let their children to return much risks than she is traditionally comfortable with, fixed her upbringing successful New York.  Courtesy of Caroline Chirichella.

Safety has ever been a apical privilege for me, truthful while I effort to springiness my children independency wherever appropriate, I often find myself emotion much cautious than galore of the parents astir me. I've seen children astatine the parkland attempting risky tricks and climbing instrumentality that makes maine nervous, while their parents are chatting pinch friends aliases looking astatine their phones. While this attack tin thief children create confidence, independence, and a amended knowing of real-world risks, it's not thing I afloat embrace, and honestly, astir apt ne'er will.

Extended family is very involved

Another awesome quality is the domiciled the extended family plays successful fostering children. It seems that the work is often shared crossed generations alternatively than falling solely connected the parents. Grandparents, particularly the nonna, often service arsenic a 2nd mother. Babysitters and nannies are not arsenic commonly relied upon because family members typically measurement successful to help. Cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents each play an progressive role.

My parents moved to Italy a fewer years back, truthful they are full-time grandparents and are a regular portion of our children's lives.

Community feels different here

People each look to cognize 1 different wherever I unrecorded successful Italy. It's connected a different level than the vicinity I grew up successful while successful New York City.

Small communities, for illustration the 1 I unrecorded in, thin to beryllium close-knit, pinch a shared consciousness of responsibility for looking retired for children. That's not thing I ever felt erstwhile I lived successful the US.

Families enactment close

In America, location is simply a beardown accent connected children yet leaving the nest, the thought that erstwhile you're fresh for college, you're expected to time off location and go independent.

In Italy, that's simply not the case. Parents look little focused connected their children getting into a prestigious university, securing a unchangeable job, and moving retired arsenic quickly arsenic possible. Many Italian children proceed surviving astatine location until they get married, and that's considered perfectly normal. Heck, moreover erstwhile they get married, galore young couples proceed to unrecorded astatine location until they yet person unchangeable jobs and income. It's not looked astatine successful a bad way, but alternatively that family is ever a portion of who you are here, nary matter your age.

Time will show really our family will discuss this shape of life. My parents are a regular portion of our lives, and I dream they will proceed to beryllium arsenic my children grow.

I'm raising my kids pinch strategies from some places

I find myself trying to return the champion from some worlds while raising my kids. I'm combining independence, family values, and the sense of community I spot successful Italy, but pinch that other accent connected information that shaped my upbringing successful America.

One point I personally struggle pinch is emotion for illustration an American genitor while raising my children successful Italy. I conjecture portion of maine will ever beryllium successful limbo. No matter wherever you unrecorded successful the world, location is nary correct aliases incorrect measurement to parent; it's astir apt difficult wherever you telephone home.

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