I didn't tell my Y Combinator batchmates I had a kid. I worried they'd think I wasn't hardcore enough.

This as-told-to effort is based connected a speech pinch Nicholas Charriere, the 36-year-old cofounder of Mocha, an AI app builder. He lives successful the Bay Area. It's been edited for magnitude and clarity.

I grew up successful France. I studied mathematics and physics. Then I discovered Hacker News, and I started learning each astir entrepreneurship. I decided: I want to beryllium successful technology, and I want to beryllium a founder.

I moved to San Francisco aft my studies pinch that goal. It took six years to benignant retired visa issues. After that, I didn't really person a cofounder, and I sewage a awesome offer from Cruise, truthful I took that. I spent 4 years there.

Then, erstwhile I was 29, I joined different startup wherever the laminitis had an astonishing pitch.

I waited really agelong to commencement my ain company, and that's a large root of regret. By the clip I went into Y Combinator astatine 33, my girl had been born. I profoundly wish I had done it before.

I didn't show my YC batchmates astir my daughter

I ever knew I wanted to person a family. I grew up successful a family of 4 kids pinch a very happy childhood. I joined my woman 10 years ago. She was my 1 and only match connected Hinge.

I had to person a large speech pinch my woman astir starting my ain company. The babe was very young, and it made everything a batch harder. I had to unafraid backing quickly.

One advantage arsenic an older founder was that I had a pedigree. Getting into YC and raising money was easier than erstwhile you're 20 and person nary résumé. I felt very aged successful YC, though. And being a dada was a full different type of emotion old. I was successful a different shape of life.

At immoderate point, you spell connected a retreat pinch each the different founders. Everybody's really young, and there's a procreation spread wherever they behave differently. My cofounder and I were like: "Want to drawback beers, guys?" They were like: "We don't drink."

That weekend, I told a fewer group astir my girl because I had a emotion they had kids. I learned immoderate did, and that they were besides being hush-hush astir it. We had a group chat wherever we sent each different pictures of the babies. We're still friends, and it was a beardown bonding moment. It was besides very difficult for them.

I've been reference Hacker News, the tech forum owned by YC, for galore years, and they don't talk astir being dads. I thought: "I'm surrounded by founders, and founders don't talk astir this."

In YC, everyone's trying to up-intense each other. Like, "I didn't slumber for 3 days." Or, "We're flying to New York to conscionable talk to a customer." Saying "I conscionable had a kid and I emotion spending clip pinch them" is not the vibe. It wouldn't fit.

People are really bully to each different successful YC, but you're each competing. You're competing for the fundraise. You're competing to beryllium the champion YC startup.

I retrieve debating for a agelong clip whether to show my YC partner, Diana Hu. They take you, they stake connected you, and if you do well, they make money. So, I evidently didn't spell up to her the first nighttime we met and say: "I'm expecting a kid." For weeks, I debated: Should I opportunity it?

I retrieve bringing it up because of founder salaries. You're not judge what to salary yourself erstwhile you're successful YC. It was a spot awkward, because I was supporting my woman and had a kid. It's not greed, but there's a minimum present to not beryllium successful the heavy red.

I brought it up pinch Diana and told her astir my daughter. She was like: "You should perfectly salary yourself what you request to live, because if not, you will springiness up much readily, and building a institution is each astir not giving up." It was awesome advice.

When you do bring it up, the reactions are really fine. Most of the fearfulness of bringing it up was successful my ain head. I didn't want group to deliberation I'm not arsenic aggravated aliases hardcore arsenic the laminitis who just talked astir 996.

The property mobility still nags astatine me

The biggest instruction I've learned is that having kids and doing this startup intends everything other is gone. There's nary TV. There are nary video games. I walked my dog, which is simply a blessing, because it meant I moved my assemblage around. Sleep was tough.

You tin observe that Silicon Valley is ageist by looking astatine the ages of the group astir you. At companies successful the startup scene, location are less older people.

It's unspoken but very true: If you optimize your hiring to person immoderate acquisition but young capable that they don't person families yet, which is the 26-32 property bracket, you get the champion value.

There are nary domiciled models erstwhile you're a parent. You don't meet a batch of group like: "This is me, but 20 years ahead." I ne'er recovered that successful Silicon Valley.

I was CEO of Mocha for 3 years. We had immoderate success, sewage to 300,000 users and a fewer cardinal successful ARR. It wasn't enough. 2026 is simply a really weird infinitesimal wherever title is insane. We were competing pinch Lovable and Replit, some of which were absolute rocket ships.

I was going to either raise a Series A aliases unopen down. My 2nd kid was being calved erstwhile this determination had to happen. I deliberation it was a bad business pinch bad margins. Rather than return much investor money, I thought it was amended to quit.

We didn't succeed, truthful we intelligibly could've done things better. I ever person a sound successful my caput saying, "If you put successful much hours, if you created a civilization wherever group near later and worked weekends, you would've made it." That sound has been nagging astatine me.

I ever felt we should beryllium going harder. But location were limits I was putting connected myself to do correct by my kid and my wife. I had a really difficult clip asking that of my employees.