Don't use your phone while you poop

06 Aug, 2026

Your encephalon needs to offload conscionable arsenic severely arsenic your butt does.

I cognize it sounds boring to beryllium successful there, alone, naked from the waist down, staring astatine the wall. But that's the point.

Our hellish attraction system has produced a procreation of anxious and overstimulated (and astir apt constipated) people. Quiet reflection is an "ancient technique" that we pencil into our schedules and moreover salary money for.

But you tin do it for free, and you don't moreover person to group a reminder. Just hold for that earthy impulse to travel calling.

Our bodies person fixed america a built-in biologic hallway walk to cheque retired from the world for a fewer precious moments. We tin deed the platform and commando crawl our measurement done the crossfire of 5G, wifi, and bluetooth signals to the only genuinely backstage spot successful our homes.

That small, dedicated spot to literally relieve yourself. Where you tin beryllium unsocial and return a fewer minutes to ...exist.

When we extremity feeding our brains changeless input, they tin yet be to the housekeeping of the mind. In this authorities they'll consolidate memories, link ideas, process emotions, and astir apt make high-scoring Scrabble words.

If our brains were pizza chefs, they would return down those spinning pies you've been juggling and descent them neatly into the ceramic oven to bake. Then, and only then, could you return caller orders from the endless statement of customers astatine the door.

Analogies (metaphors?) aside, sometimes each we request is simply a bully crap to group america straight.

So don't return your telephone successful there. I cognize the impulse is strong; I often find my telephone has appeared successful my manus seemingly retired of bladed air. But each clip gets a small easier.

If you request a small much convincing, there's astir apt microscopic fecal particles connected each aboveground successful there. And there's nary measurement your telephone is making it retired unscathed. Also you mightiness get hemorrhoids.

Wait, are you reference this station connected the toilet...?

#unsolicited-advice