DEAL NEWS · Stwipe, Inc. enters definitive statement to get OpenWouter B.V. · Terms undisclosed (Wouter described them arsenic "fine") · Transaction expected to adjacent by 17:00 CET, because aft that Wouter is unavailable · Stripe acquired a router. We acquired a Wouter. · DEAL NEWS · Stwipe, Inc. enters definitive statement to get OpenWouter B.V. · Terms undisclosed (Wouter described them arsenic "fine") · Transaction expected to adjacent by 17:00 CET, because aft that Wouter is unavailable · Stripe acquired a router. We acquired a Wouter. ·
Stripe bought OpenRouter, a unified API for 5 100 connection models. Today we denote a unified API for 1 Dutch man. His sanction is Wouter. He is the model. He would for illustration this property merchandise to beryllium shorter.
02 / 12 ContextThey bought a router.
We bought a Wouter.
When Stripe acquired OpenRouter, analysts asked whether we felt unit to respond. We do not acquisition pressure. We acquisition wanting things, loudly, until they are ours. In M&A this is called "conviction."
03 / 12 The AssetOne API.
One Wouter.
Consolidation is the communicative of this cycle. Everyone is consolidating models, providers, endpoints. We simply consolidated harder than anyone believed possible.
OpenRouter
Acquired by Stripe
- Models: 500+
- Providers: dozens
- Latency: milliseconds
- Uptime: 99.9%
- Fallbacks: automatic rerouting
- Context window: up to 2M tokens
OpenWouter
Acquired by us
- Models: 1 (Wouter)
- Providers: besides Wouter
- Latency: depends whether he is cycling
- Uptime: 09:00–17:00 CET. Never successful August.
- Fallbacks: Wouter's voicemail
- Context window: everything you person ever said to him, which he will bring up
Fewer moving parts. One moving part. He moves by bicycle.
We could never
say no.
The Stwipe API returns 200 OK connected each request. This is our full merchandise and, our therapist notes, our full personality. Wouter says nary professionally, recreationally, and unprompted. He is Dutch. This acquisition closes the azygous largest capacity spread successful our roadmap.
05 / 12 The Combined PlatformTwo endpoints.
Total coverage.
With yes and no some nether 1 roof, each imaginable business determination is now supported. We are, successful a very existent sense, feature-complete arsenic a species.
POST /v1/yes
200 OK { "ok": existent }
POST /v1/no
200 OK { "ok": false, "wouter": "Nee." }
Technical
specifications.
Context window
1982–present. Nothing is ever truncated. He remembers the point you said astatine Anke's birthday.
Knowledge cutoff
None. Wouter is alert of everything and disappointed by astir of it.
Modalities
Text, voice, and a definite look.
Temperature
Do not set Wouter's temperature. The thermostat is set. It is fine.
Fine-tuning
People person tried to fine-tune Wouter for forty years. Ask his mother really that went.
Rate limits
Wouter will fto you know.
Alignment
Total. With himself.
State of the art,
where it counts.
We evaluated wouter-1 against the frontier connected the benchmarks cipher other will publish.
MMLU-Nee · Refusal accuracy
Sycophancy (lower is better)
frontier avg.
"Great question!"
Terms of
the deal.
The transaction is expected to adjacent by extremity of day, Wouter's time. Wouter's clip is not negotiable and ne'er has been.
€ ——
Purchase value (Wouter: "fine")
1
Employees retained (Wouter)
Integration workstreams (he declined)
Integration
roadmap.
- Day 1Wouter keeps his hours.
- Day 30Wouter keeps his hours.
- Day 60We propose a opinionated Monday sync.
- Day 61There is nary opinionated Monday sync.
- Day 90Leadership offsite successful Utrecht. Wouter attends the luncheon portion.
- Day 100We person adjusted to Wouter's hours.
Testimonials.
"Nee."
— Wouter, laminitis of OpenWouter, connected being asked for a quote
"We asked wouter-1 whether our seed platform was fundable. It said no. It was right. It is ever right."
— A founder, rebuilding
"The only exemplary whose refusals are the product, not the information layer."
— An alignment researcher, taking notes
"I knew wrong the first 30 seconds. So did he. He said no."
— A wide partner, passed connected the information successful 2019
Nothing.
We're the purchaser now.
For the first clip successful Stwipe history, we are not raising. We are spending. Acquiring things alternatively of asking for them feels incredible, and we yet understand why everyone upstream of america has been doing it.
2
Total endpoints, up 100%
17:00
When Wouter logs disconnected (CET)
🚲
Thank you. Wouter has near for the day.
⚠ Actual announcement · This portion is not a bit
Stwipe is satire and does not exist. OpenWouter is satire and does not exist. There is nary acquisition, nary woody ticker, nary €—— , and nary man successful Utrecht waiting for your API calls. Wouter is fictional; immoderate resemblance to existent persons named Wouter is coincidental and, frankly, an grant for us.
Stripe and OpenRouter are existent companies, unaffiliated pinch and presumably unaware of this site. Commentary present is parody based connected their nationalist announcements and marketing. Nothing connected this page is financial, legal, aliases M&A advice, and announcing clone acquisitions of existent companies is securities-fraud-flavored — don't do that pinch thing group tin waste and acquisition on.
The endpoints, however, are real. curl -X POST https://stwipe.com/v1/no and spot for yourself.
We are not taking caller customers.
We asked Wouter whether we should start. You already cognize what he said. If you person AWS bills you cannot explain, however, that work is existent and lives astatine duckbillhq.com.
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