I’m an Executive Coach — These Are the 3 Leadership Instincts That Actually Cost You Job Offers

Sep 15, 2026 07:00 AM - 5 hours ago 1

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Key Takeaways

  • Your activity instincts aren’t flaws, but the situation is recognizing erstwhile you’re the campaigner alternatively than the leader and adjusting really you communicate.
  • With practice, either by yourself aliases alongside a trained professional, you tin study to announcement what interviewers perceive that you nary longer do.

Most executives presume their way grounds will transportation them done interviews, but successful reality, the leadership instincts you’ve spent years refining tin actively wounded you erstwhile you’re a candidate.

I spot this shape regularly successful my question and reply coaching practice. Accomplished leaders often locomotion retired of question and reply loops confused astir why the connection went to different candidate. The truth is, their qualifications were ne'er the issue. Instead, the rumor was that they interviewed the measurement they lead, and though starring this measurement serves them good day-to-day, it’s costing them opportunities successful the question and reply room.

Let’s research the 3 activity instincts I astir often spot moving against executives successful interviews, arsenic good arsenic really to set each one.

1. You springiness your squad each the credit

Great leaders administer praise to their team. When a task succeeds, they spotlight the group who did the work, and complete time, “we” becomes their default language. This wont builds spot and loyalty erstwhile you’re starring a team, making you look for illustration a secure, selfless leader, but erstwhile you’re interviewing, it creates a awesome problem.

Employers are hiring only 1 person: you. When each communicative is told successful “we” language, interviewers are near guessing astir your individual contributions. Some interviewers will presume you’re being modest. Others will reason you were conscionable on for the thrust and didn’t thrust the results yourself. Neither presumption helps you, peculiarly erstwhile you’re competing against arsenic qualified candidates who much intelligibly pass their impact.

I callback moving pinch a merchandise guidance executive who kept advancing to last rounds but ne'er receiving an offer. When he requested feedback, 1 sheet shared that they struggled to pinpoint what he had personally contributed to his team’s wins. We reworked his stories to sanction the circumstantial decisions he had made, arsenic good arsenic the initiatives he had personally led, and he received an connection soon after.

In my acquisition coaching hundreds of leaders done executive interviews, the hole isn’t to return in installments that rightfully belongs to your team. Instead, it’s to proceed calling retired their contributions while besides being clear astir your own. For each question and reply story, place your individual domiciled aliases what would person gone otherwise without you. That is the portion interviewers request to perceive successful the first person. This mightiness sound like, “My squad delivered an unthinkable merchandise launch. My domiciled was making the telephone to hold the merchandise by 2 weeks, which protected the customer acquisition and helped america renew each 1 of our awesome accounts.”

2. You presume your scope speaks for itself

Inside your company, everyone shares context. Your colleagues already cognize really analyzable your statement is and why a peculiar inaugural was challenging. Because of this, you don’t request to explicate the backstory down your activity erstwhile you’re communicating internally.

But interviewers don’t stock that context, and erstwhile executives compress a awesome accomplishment into a azygous sentence, their accomplishment arrives without the stakes that made it impressive. “I led the AI translator effort” intends very small to personification who doesn’t cognize that take had stalled doubly earlier aliases that the committee had made it the company’s apical priority.

One of my clients, an operations executive, described a two-year turnaround successful a azygous condemnation during our coaching sessions. It sounded regular until we unpacked the business he had walked into, including millions of dollars successful sunk costs and a strategy that aggregate predecessors had grounded to fix. Once he named those stakes successful interviews, the aforesaid accomplishment landed much powerfully.

I coach leaders to item the stakes astir each story. You don’t request to trade a melodramatic screenplay for illustration Shonda Rhimes, but you do request to group the scene. Before your adjacent interview, return your strongest accomplishments and reply these questions astir each one: What was astatine liking if this failed? What did the earlier and aft look like? While these answers are apt already evident to you, saying them retired large turns a resume slug constituent into a memorable story and sets you isolated from different candidates.

3. You’ve mastered negotiated communication

Senior leaders are often trained by acquisition to hedge successful public. You’ve apt learned to build statement earlier taking a guidelines and admit divers stakeholder perspectives earlier committing to your own. This is really you usually summation alignment and trust, but successful an interview, it tin backfire and sound for illustration you don’t person a constituent of view.

Companies prosecute executives for their discernment. When you reply a strategical mobility pinch cautiously balanced considerations and nary conclusion, interviewers locomotion distant unsure whether you tin perpetrate to a direction. Even worse, immoderate will reason that you’re a leader who waits to spot wherever the group lands earlier speaking up.

I precocious worked pinch an IT executive who had pushed backmost erstwhile his CEO wanted to move guardant afloat throttle connected an AI transformation. He worried that the communicative would make him sound difficult, truthful successful interviews he softened the specifications until his position vanished entirely. Once we reworked the communicative truthful that he stated his stance and the reasoning down it upfront, the feedback changed. Interviewers began commenting connected his sound judgement and asking thoughtful follow-up questions astir really he had managed the disagreement.

The accommodation I urge is elemental to picture but uncomfortable to practice: Lead pinch your position, past adhd the nuance. In my coaching sessions, we rehearse responses like, “Here’s my recommendation, and here’s what would alteration my mind.” This building allows you to show condemnation while remaining unfastened to input, and it leaves interviewers assured that you tin make the reliable calls.

Your activity instincts aren’t flaws. They helped you go the leader you are today, and you’ll request them again erstwhile you onshore your caller role. The situation is recognizing erstwhile you’re the campaigner alternatively than the leader and adjusting really you communicate. This tin beryllium difficult to do connected your ain because your activity habits person go 2nd nature. With practice, whether by yourself aliases alongside a trained professional, you tin study to announcement what interviewers perceive that you nary longer do. You’ve sewage this!

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